And the First Question Is?

Hello all you tasty kiddies out there in cyberspace ;-)

Tonight I received the first question of my soon to be world famous column, its from the Sultry Ms. S from Denver.


Dear Luxurious Mr. L,

I have a situation with a client concerning her Green Card, which she is trying to renew. Though early days in the renewal process, she is already encountering resistance. My first thought was to get to work on a Honey Jar to make the legal/institutional situation sweet/full of helpful people. She doesn't have any personal names to work with, and obviously no personal concerns - so that is a bit unfortunate. Before her next hearing I'll set up with a spiritual bath and some deer's tongue to chew while she speaks to those in charge...but was wondering your thoughts. Do you have any specific recommendations for working such cases in terms of rites or recipes?

Thanks Luxurious Mr. L,

S from Denver.


Dear Ms. S,

Sounds like you know how to work the root!
I can always be persuaded to help spice things up, for a price ;-) Heres my two cents! I love me some honey jars, and have found them useful in almost all situations in which good favor is needed. Personally, I sometimes find that I need a bit more binding power than what honey can offer, so I mix 5 parts honey to 2 parts molasses, it sounds like your client can use the added kick. Since she doesn't have specific names to do the working on, I would copy her prepared forms and put them in the jar, along with some calamus and high john root. I would also have her write out her petition on a small, brown, paper bag and crush 5 bay leaves on top of it. Then put the jar on top of the whole thing, and light up the candle. I like to annoint my candles with a little somethin' somethin', called "wish be granted mixture" its made with a mixture of honey, cinnamon, and some abre camino/open the roads oil.

If she is still not getting anywhere with those nasty governement types, its time to pull out some new tricks. I don't like to waste time so I go right to the source, workin with good Ol' Papa Legba, now for all those people who don't know Legba, heres a crash course. He is originally from Africa, known to the Fon people as Legba, the Congo people as Elegba, and the Yoruba as Eshu Elegbara. According to who you talk to, you will get one or all of these names, and many many more. Legba is the owner of the crossroads, and stands at all the entry ways in your life, and therefore its always a good idea to have him on your side. Ms. S., it sounds like your client my be needing his help right about now. I would suggest a little ritual to help her move things along.

Ingredients
3 bags of assorted candy
1 white candle
1 bottle of abre camino oil
1 small brown paper bag

This ritual starts on Friday and ends on Monday, while I would suggest that she should start the ritual at 3, 6, 9, or 12 either am or pm, its not a neccessity. On Friday have her write out her petition on the brown paper bag, and dress it with 6 drops of abre camino oil. Place it at the bottom of a very large bowl, and cover it with all the assorted candy. Have your client place the bowl on her head and pray that her roads open so that she may renew her green card with ease. Next annoint the candle with 9 drops of the abre camino oil, and place it in the middle of the bowl. Kept the candle light for the next three hours and then douse the flame. Now here is the tricky part, I want her to grab a handful of candy and leave it at the front door of the building where these meetings are taking place. She is to do this from Friday to Sunday. On Monday, she needs to take the candle out of the bowl and give the remaining candy that is left over to the neighborhood children. Finally, she lights the candle and lets it burn till it is completed.

I hope this helps, and let me know how it all turns out!

Kisses and Such,
Luxurious Mr. L