Monday, June 9, 2008

To Filter, Or Not To Filter, That Is The Question?

Hello To All You Playful Kiddies Out There In Cyberland!!!

It looks like Luxurious Mr. L isn’t the only summer loving lounge lizard out there. It is a little over two weeks since I posted my first contest for the season, and I haven’t received any responses. I am starting to think that no one loves me L. Now I know that this couldn’t possibly be true, after all who doesn’t like the prize at the bottom of the cereal box? I promise some sugary loving coming your way. So I am officially extending the contest for another two weeks. I might just have to get my studded paddle out if everyone continues to be so naughty.

Now onto the main tent for today’s especially wonderful and intriguing question.

Dear Luxurious Mr. L.Your advice column is fantastic and I await your answers each week - please keep this goodness flowing! Question: I recently read for a woman and all the marriage cards in the deck kept popping, not in a "happy" way. I asked about her marital situation and she (blissfully) responded that she was wildly in love and (very) newly married. Everything she said was contrary to what I was sensing, which was that she was in for heartbreak and that this guy was possibly cheating on her, at the very least: not being honest about something... . Though this kept coming up, after gauging her energy/feeling into it, I didn't feel like this was information she could handle. Rather, I talked around these issues and did address them, but not in explicit terms concerning how the information related to her new husband - that is, I didn't expose him or call him out.My question is: what is a reader's responsibility in such situations if a client isn't in a position to hear the filterless truth? Thanks Mr. L - you are a wonderful resource.Cupcake

Dear Cupcake,

Talk about sugary goodness, I just want to dip myself in chocolate and roll around in sprinkles. Does anyone want to light my candles?…..Now if I can only figure out how to combine my two loves, boys and cupcakes….LOL…But I digress. Your question brings up some interesting “truths” about being a reader. What happens when the information that comes through is not the information that the client wants to hear? I would say, in my infinite knowledge, go with your gut and trust that you have the skill and tact necessary to relay the information as it presents itself.

For me, I start the process of channeling by asking that Spirit presents the blessings of life and how to receive them, as well as the challenges that are ahead and the information necessary to show how to avert them. I also ask that for both the client and myself as a reader to be authentically open in our bodies, hearts, and souls to be able to be fully present with the information that is given. I think that as readers and mediums, we allow the energy to come through by creating the space, blessing our tools, and above all else blessing clients and selves by setting our intentions. Thus it is within a space of loving and protective energy that we allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to hear the full knowledge of Spirit.

With that said, sometimes a client is not ready to hear the information that is coming through, and it lies with the reader to use his or her intellect and heart to compose the truth in a way which will ultimately uplift the client, even though their present situation may seem mired in pain. Personally, when situations of infidelity and dishonesty pop up I broach the subject by indicating to the client that they need to be actively observing their personal environments and relationships. I say that there are people around them who are saying and acting in one manner when they are around the client, but there is a sense of disingenuousness around them in some form or fashion. I advise the client to be observant and to trust their instincts when they are feeling like there is deception around a person or situation. Finally I indicated that it may be time to have a little heart to heart with their loved ones and make sure that they are all on the same page, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

There are times, however, when the client is as dull as a cast iron skillet, and no matter what you say, they will not see the true character of the other party. In that situation, I tell them the above, and also suggest that they ally themselves with their friends and family so when the proverbial shit hits the fan, they have a support network around them.

I think that as a reader and a medium we should “do no harm” no matter how important or intense the information that comes through is, and its up to us to navigate that energy to the best of our abilities. Finally, I think that there are always ways of saying what needs to be said without biting your tongue or having to feel like you are holding back.

I hope this helps!

Big Sloppy Kisses,
Luxurious Mr. L

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Blocks, Toys, And Puppy Dog Tails, Oh My!

Dios Voz!

Well Luxurious Mr. L has been taking a much needed sabbatical from all things resembling responsibility, and have neglected my adoring throngs of readers......Is there anything that I can do to make it up to you? How does a life size hot fudge sunday sound? I promise that there will be an extra tasty cherry at the

So Luxurious Mr. L in all his glory has decided to create the first "official" contest for this year, and the prize will be a delectable mojo of your choice. And here is how we all play........

1. I will give you a list of ingredients, both well known and some not so common.
2. You construct a theoretical or real working of your choice around them and submit to me, your
3. Originality counts for everything..... :-)
4. The winner will be decided after two weeks!

Ingredients- Clover, Rue, Five Finger Grass, 1 Red kercheif, 1 Tonka Bean, and 1 Small Mirror.

Now onto the real juice of today's column, to spell or not to

Dear Mr L

I have so enjoyed reading your blog..Finally an advice columnist that really seems like they love life especially the pleasures of life. A wonderful mix of leisure and life. So keep telling it like it is.So I have a question about all this stuff that is part of your advice.I can understand a martini glass and sipping down the spirit of god, but do I really need all of this other stuff to keep the magick flowing and to manifest the things in my life that I would like to accomplish/ get rid of/enhance etc? Can I work with the same effectiveness using only internal energy accompanied with the spirits that travel with me? If so what is your thoughts on magick done with stuff and magick done without stuff. Thank you for your advice.

Ed Lover

Dear Lover,Mmmmmmmmm........Martini's of god, tasty treats! Lord knows I like to sip down a number of different substances.....

But to answer your question, I for one think that nothing is hard and fast, though on rare occasions I can appreciate both at the same me its all about where do you feel the most connectivity to you own manifesting powers. As you can tell, I am a very sensual person, and there is something to be said about feeling a mojo against your chest or the smell of an oil on your body. I also feel that herbs, curios, and such add their magick to yours and aid your own manifesting powers.

That is not to say that I constantly have to have an object to channel, focus, or harness magicks, a smile and a sleek look can do as much as any come to me oil can do. I would say its all about how you work with your own energy first. Are you able to sense and work with your subtle energy body, after all it doesn't matter what charms you have if you can't charge them.

Either way you go Mr. Lover, keep on sipping on tasty god goodness!_____________________________________________________________

Dear Luxurious, My question is not so much about a case of writer's block as it is about a general, life-long struggle to make work. I know that I am a writer and that there is no other occupation I ought to be doing, but I need some help loosening whatever this block is that has been stopping me for so long. I really want a daily (or at least a regular) writing practice. I have been told by a wise woman that there is a loop stuck between my second (creativity) and fifth (expression) chakras. This feels quite true because I don't suffer from lack of inspiration, rather I experience great difficulty with bringing my inspiration into the fullness of manifestation. Any ideas on how I can work with this situation? Thanks a lot. I love your column, by the way!Best, Loopy

Dear Loopy,

I love my column too! Don't you think I am Fab? But enough of me, lets talk about you, sounds like you are in a circuit of ickiness. Sometimes, if not all the time, we become attached to our blocks, as much as we are attached to our blessings. There is an old saying among Rootworkers that one destroys with the feet, what is built with the hands, and it doesn't matter how much we work to create sustaining good habits, our bad habits get in the way. I also think that for however long we remain attached to these loops, cycles, etc, we can begin to birth, without our knowing, an energetic spirit on the etheric plains which feed and can actually cause these blocks and loops to intensify and happen more and more.My first thought would be to do some cutting work, which is to physically cut the ties that bind you to blocks, loops, etc. The longer this situation has been in your life, the stronger the working needs to be to cut you from the situation; therefore, I would recommend a physical cutting.

3 pieces of silk cord
Mercury Dime
1 jug of water

This working will take place over a three month period. You will start on the full moon of the first month by measuring three lenghts of silk cord which can be tied around your waist. Next submerge the cord, sulphur, saltpeter, rosemary, spearment, and mercury dime in the jug of water and leave the container out in the moon energy for a month. At the next full moon, you take the cord out and allow it to dry for a day, and then braid it with the intent of it soaking up the physical, spiritual, emotional, intellectual energy which is causing you to remain in this loop. Next tie it around your waist and wear it day and night for the month. On the last full moon create a sacred space and when you feel at your most powerful, take a knife and cut the cord that has been binding you. As you cut it, imagine that you will no longer be tied to patterns that constrain and bind you. You can verbally say them out loud and proclaim your power over them, and for them to trouble you no longer. Finally burn the cord as a physical sign of your domination over these negative powers. You can save the ashes and add them to your flower bed, uncrossing oils, and such as a sign of the transformation and cutting that has occurred.

Till next time! Big kisses and such,
Luxurious Mr. L

Saturday, May 3, 2008

How Do You Do Those Things That You Do? ...And....Heart Break Party of One!

Hola, Hola!

Luxuriously, opulent Mr. L is having a grand ol' time getting back to the basics of life, nekkid sunbathing and margaritas, quite a deadly combination.....any cuties wanna join in?

Well I'm sure all you wonderful tasties out there in cyberspace have been holding your.... breath waiting for the next installment of my soon to be world famous advice column, so without any further delay of it is.

Dear Luxurious Mr L,

I was wondering if you could give a basic sort of introduction or overview of the area of your expertise about which you are answering questions? I note that you cover topics such as mojo, honey jars, divination, opening pathways and inviting the gentle favor of the unseen world. To a blandly white American girl such as myself, raised with only the most pedestrian variety of Catholicism, all of these things seem exotic, intriguing, and otherwise other or foreign to me. How can I learn about these things? What's the price of admission for beginning to adopt such practices? (i.e. I'd rather pay dues (of whatever approrpriate form) than blindly appropriate).

Thanks so much, and ta, darling

Dear Sexigenius,

Sexy and Intelligent, my kind of woman! Meow...............
You raise a couple of good questions for this week, here's winkin' at ya!
Luxurious Mr. L has been professionally in the metaphys business going on twelve years now, I am like a tree, if you split me open you can count my I have been around the block a couple or three times. I have studied numerous Earth-Based Traditions, and hold title and initiations in several of them. Grace has given me the opportunity to learn and interact with some pretty exceptional Elders, and while I love to toot my own horn, in many many ways ;-) and sometimes with a partner, I find that listing them all out sounds a bit too pompous, even for me.

So...I am going to answer you in another way, and hopefully address the second question of how to start working the magicks. Lets first start out with a simple definition, that of magick. Magick is at its most basic, one's Will made manifest. It is spelled with a K in order to differentiate it from stage magic/ slight of hand/ illusion, and every culture that has existed has had their own ways of working it. Magickal systems are different from religions, in that it is one's personal power that is causing the change to happen, as oppose to any specific deity. That is not to say that doing some petition work with a specific deity doesn't help to move things along. The magickal world and the religious/spiritual world are not mutually exclusive by any means, and most magickal workers are also deeply spiritual, though I have met a couple of atheist I have taken the long way around to answer your question about appropriation, its hard to appropriate something that is inherent to all cultures. The biggest differences in the traditions are mostly in name only, i.e. mojos, magicks, medicine making, working the root, working the craft, wise working, wangas, strega, etc. They are all talking about the same thing.

Now the second part of the question is the how part....How do I start ? While I am here to help out when I can, I am not putting on the hat of teacher yet, though I am looking to start the cult of Luxurious Mr. L My biggest advice is to make sure and feel out people that you want to study with, and ask yourself if you want to live the life that they are creating for themselves. Be wary of people "who know all," because in this line of work, you can always learn more. Finally, here are some good places to start your research, and with all things, take what is usable and leave the rest.

European Based Folk Magick
Wicca for the Solitary Practitioner-Cunningham
To Ride a Silver Broom Stick-Silver Raven Wolf
Spiral Dance- Star Hawke
Grandmother Time- Z. Buddapest
Incense, Oils, and Brews- Cunningham
The Encyclopedia of Magickal Herbalism- Cunningham

Hoodoo/Southern Magick/Root Work
Hoodoo Herb and Root Magic: A Materia Magica of African-American Conjure.
Charms, Spells, and Formulas- Ray Malborough
Legends of Incense, Herbs & Oil Magic- Lewis de Claremont
Hoodoo Mysteries: Folk Magick, and Mysticism & Ritual- Malborough

Dear Mr. L,

Love sucks! I recently fell for someone who broke my heart. No matter how much I pray and make offerings I can't seem to get over it. I just want to forget about the bastard! For goddess' sake! Is there any mojo bag or any miracle that will help me? I want this feeling to cut me loose!

Trapped in Love

Dear Trapped,

Spirit knows I have been trapped by love, and there have been a number of times when I have gone ape shit because of a heart break, think Farrah Fawcett in the Burning Bed, but sans the hair flip. So Trapped, I feel ya on many, many levels. Over the years, and through many, many bottles of tequilla, I have become a bit of a metaphysical pro in helping out the ol' healing process of the heart.

The first and most important thing you can do, is to delete him from your life. If he is in your phone, delete him, throw out all photos, objects, and anything else that he might have given you, or at the very least, give them to a friend to keep from you for the time being.

For the second part, here is a wash and a mojo to help you along the healing path.

Wash Ingredients
Fresh Coconut Water
River Water
1 Piece of Rose Quartz
Common Purslane

This wash should be prepared on a Saturday, at 5 am or pm. In a large pot mix the coconut water, the river water, honey, and place the rose quartz . Next take the herbs and rub them between your palms while submerging your hands in the above mixture. As you are preparing this wash pray that your broken heart be mended, and that all memories of your past love be forgotten. This mixture is to sit for 5 hours in the sun. After it is ready, take out the rose quartz and divide the wash in 5 equal parts. Over the next five days, first thing in the morning you wash yourself while imaging that the ache of this heart break be washed away.

On the fifth day start carrying the mojo, described below, in your undergarments.

Ingredients for the Mojo
1 Gold Felt Bag
The piece of Rose Quartz from the Wash
5 drops of Honey
St. John's Wort
1 strand of Braided Hair
Ashes from the prayer parchment.

Take the Rose Quartz from the Wash, and place it next to your heart while envisioning the golden rays of the sun blessing and loving you. When it feels charged, place it next to you. Next, section off a small piece of your hair, and braid it while saying, "I am love, I am grace, I fill my heart with joys, and grace." Tie off the braid at both ends and cut it, and wrap it around the piece of rose quartz. Next take a piece of parchment, and write about how you are presently in a state of love, happiness, and joy, and that your heart is overflowing with these feelings. After you are finished, take the parchment and burn it, and save the ashes. In a bowl place the ashes, and herbs together while dripping the honey over them, make sure that the mixture is nice and sticky, and if need be add more honey in subsequent drops of 5. When it is ready, take the rose quartz, and slowly start to pack the mixture around it. You are creating a ball from the ashes and herbs, with the quartz at its center. Finally place the ball in the golden, felt bag, and tuck it into your bra, over your heart.

I hope this helps, and that you are no longer Trapped!

Much love, and sloppy wet kisses,
Luxurious Mr. L

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Anyone up for some Mojo?!?

To all the sexy, and fabulous Bellas and Bellos out there, Prego!....wink, wink

So toady's questions are all about the mojo, Mmmmmmmmmmmm Mojo........ ;-) you know how to treat Luxurious Mr.

Hello Mr. L, I am getting ready to ask someone for money and I need advice. I have already begun a honey jar spell for this purpose, but some planning and decisions need to be made soon and I need to know if I have her help or not as I proceed. I am scared to ask right now while the moon is waning. I am wondering if this is as big of a deal as I feel it is. Also, is there anything I can do to balance this energy? Or is the answer that I should just go ahead and wait a couple of weeks to ask? I really need a favorable outcome. Thanks so much.


Ms. Porkchop in Boulder

Hello Ms. Porkchop! I am submersed in vat of applesauce as I type so I can effectively answer your question....anyone ready to lick it off?.... you know I would do the same for you......

I guess Luxurious Mr. L has to put that on hold in order to get back to the question of the night, and this is a fun one to answer. Now for all you newbies out there in metaphysical land, the moon question is as follows, is it ok for me to do ________ working during _______ phase of the moon. Traditionally, most earth based magickal workers have the same stance.....waxing moon= manifesting workings, full moon= bring me what I want now!, waning moon= exercising, breaking work, and dark moon= I can do whatever I want since no one is But Mr. L knows that not all of lifes little problems can wait for the moon to come into alignment with ones Will. It seems to me that the reason why traditional folk work different mojos with different phases of the moon is to piggy back on the energy of whats happening in nature. Its like asking a neighbor to pick you up some whip cream when they are already going to the store.....ten quesses for what I use the whip cream for.......But I digress, as long as your intent is strong, it doesn't matter what phase the moon is in.

Butt....Of course Luxurious Mr. L knows a trick or two to change the energy of the moon for your working........its called the Lunar Pentagram.....doesn't it sound intriguing?

So here it is, fancy right? me explain how you work it....Like all magickal sigils, the Lunar Pentagram is a representation of a cosmic force, i.e. the moon. At the top of the pentagram is the the full moon, on each of the sides are the waxing and waning moon, at the bottom is the lunar cup, and the dark moon, or no moon at all. Now how you work it is that you first draw it on a piece of paper, if you want to get all fancy, you can do it on parchment with dragon's blood ink. Now that you have copied it, heres where the magick takes place...You place your pen at the point where the moon is currently at....for you Ms. Porkchop it would be at the waning moon-to the right, then follow the line till you get the full moon. You stop at the full moon and then follow the line till you get the full moon again. You do this until you feel the energy of where you are work shift from waning to full. This can be applied to any working at any time.

I hope this helps, let me know how it all turns out!

Much love, and some extra naughty kisses!

Luxurious Mr. L

So the next question comes from Queenie about divination work, looks like I am not the only queen online these days...LOL

Dear Luxurious Mr. L,I recently started working with a pendulum (using a Queen Elizabeth Root) as I felt drawn to do so. Though I'm well familiar with card divination, I don't know anything about pendulums and am only working with it intuitively at the moment. Sometimes I feel connected to this form, and other times -- I'm less sure. Can you offer any insights or advice concerning working with this mode of divination (or divination in general)?

Thanks lots Luxurious Mr. L!


Dear Queenie! I feel ya, working with new divination can be tricky, and pendulums can be the trickiest of the bunch. Sometimes depending on my mood and or motivations, no jokes, I have found that my own desire to have something come out in the affirmative can sway the Pendulum to towards what I want, as opposed to what is true. Have you officially consecrated it? Heres a little ditty that I have found that works both to conscecrate and get the Pendulum more connected with the information you need.

Ingredients for Green Blood of the Earth

ragweed (Ambrosia Artemissifola)

Bloodweed (Ambrosia Trifida)

Pigweed (Amarantnus Retroflexus)

Althea (Althea Officinalis)

Vervain (Verbena Officinalis)

1 Gallon River Water

1 Large Buckett

This ritual should be done on a Thursday, and add flare as you see fit!.....Gather the ingredients and set your space in your normal fashion. Take the buckett and fill it with the river water, and slowly start to add each of the herbs by rubbing them in between the palms while submerging your hands in the water. Pray to the spirits who own divination in your tradition. If you are working a hoodoo trad, St. Anthony of Padua, St. Joan of Arc, St. Gerard Majella, St. Claire of Assisi, and St. Moses would be appropriate. Next, portion out enough of the mixture for a bath and bottle full that you can annoint yourself with when you are doing divination. Finally, take your pendulum and submerge it completely and let it sit for twenty-four hours. That night, you should take a bath with the Green Blood of the Earth, and set your intent that as you sleep, you are in complete connection with your highest good/ divine self.

The next day, you can take out the pendulum and tie a piece of hair to it. You can feed it with your moon blood every month, or with a new batch of the Green Blood of the Earth. When you are ready to sit down and divine make sure to annoint both yourself and the pendulum with the mixture that you have set aside in the bottle. To make sure your mixture doesn't get moldy, add a fifth of Ever Clear to your bottle and shake it up.

Hope this helps, and do some great divining for me!


Luxurious Mr. L

And the final question of the night comes from Lady with a Lady Question.......Lady Question? I have a couple

Dear Luxurious Mr. L,I have a mojo bag (a traditional Nation sack with the lady's special needs in mind). What is the best way to "keep" a mojo and to keep it working? It's too bulky to tuck into my bra & wear daily, which is how I've always worn and fed (with my sweat + perfume) my mojos in the past and I'm at a loss for how to stay connected to this new one. It is feeling a bit dim if you know what I mean.

Love to you LML!

Lady with a Lady Question

Dear Lady with a Lady Question,

Having a dim mojo is never a fun thing, especially after you have already put the time and expense into making it. There are a couple of ways to perk it up, and have it working for you with minimal energy. Depending on how big it is you can always sew on a band that you wear like a belt under your clothes. When it breaks, that means that the mojo has completed its work and you can release it back into the Universe. If it is too big for this, or you just don't want a big pooch under your clothes, I would suggest something as simple as sleeping with it. You can also do the ol' lodestone trick, where you take to lodestones and consecrate them with bag. Next you tie one onto the bag and keep the other one in your pocket or purse.

Personally, I recommend the following. Make a doll of yourself that you can physically attach your mojo to, and wrap it up in some red cloth. Now this can be dangerous if someone gets a hold of your doll, but if you hide it, and are aware of who is in your space, this is highly effective. First because they can literally feed off and piggy back on each other, and you don't have to worry about anyone finding it on you. Second, you can start to layer your mojos on each other, and not have to have 15 bags on

As for feeding the mojo, I highly suggest the Green Blood of the Earth recipe that I presented earlier, a couple of drops will do ya, and don't be afraid to pray with it on a daily basis.

To all the Ladies out there, and those who want to be them, have some fun on me.

Happy Hunting,

Luxurious Mr. L

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

And the First Question Is?

Hello all you tasty kiddies out there in cyberspace ;-)

Tonight I received the first question of my soon to be world famous column, its from the Sultry Ms. S from Denver.

Dear Luxurious Mr. L,

I have a situation with a client concerning her Green Card, which she is trying to renew. Though early days in the renewal process, she is already encountering resistance. My first thought was to get to work on a Honey Jar to make the legal/institutional situation sweet/full of helpful people. She doesn't have any personal names to work with, and obviously no personal concerns - so that is a bit unfortunate. Before her next hearing I'll set up with a spiritual bath and some deer's tongue to chew while she speaks to those in charge...but was wondering your thoughts. Do you have any specific recommendations for working such cases in terms of rites or recipes?

Thanks Luxurious Mr. L,

S from Denver.

Dear Ms. S,

Sounds like you know how to work the root!
I can always be persuaded to help spice things up, for a price ;-) Heres my two cents! I love me some honey jars, and have found them useful in almost all situations in which good favor is needed. Personally, I sometimes find that I need a bit more binding power than what honey can offer, so I mix 5 parts honey to 2 parts molasses, it sounds like your client can use the added kick. Since she doesn't have specific names to do the working on, I would copy her prepared forms and put them in the jar, along with some calamus and high john root. I would also have her write out her petition on a small, brown, paper bag and crush 5 bay leaves on top of it. Then put the jar on top of the whole thing, and light up the candle. I like to annoint my candles with a little somethin' somethin', called "wish be granted mixture" its made with a mixture of honey, cinnamon, and some abre camino/open the roads oil.

If she is still not getting anywhere with those nasty governement types, its time to pull out some new tricks. I don't like to waste time so I go right to the source, workin with good Ol' Papa Legba, now for all those people who don't know Legba, heres a crash course. He is originally from Africa, known to the Fon people as Legba, the Congo people as Elegba, and the Yoruba as Eshu Elegbara. According to who you talk to, you will get one or all of these names, and many many more. Legba is the owner of the crossroads, and stands at all the entry ways in your life, and therefore its always a good idea to have him on your side. Ms. S., it sounds like your client my be needing his help right about now. I would suggest a little ritual to help her move things along.

3 bags of assorted candy
1 white candle
1 bottle of abre camino oil
1 small brown paper bag

This ritual starts on Friday and ends on Monday, while I would suggest that she should start the ritual at 3, 6, 9, or 12 either am or pm, its not a neccessity. On Friday have her write out her petition on the brown paper bag, and dress it with 6 drops of abre camino oil. Place it at the bottom of a very large bowl, and cover it with all the assorted candy. Have your client place the bowl on her head and pray that her roads open so that she may renew her green card with ease. Next annoint the candle with 9 drops of the abre camino oil, and place it in the middle of the bowl. Kept the candle light for the next three hours and then douse the flame. Now here is the tricky part, I want her to grab a handful of candy and leave it at the front door of the building where these meetings are taking place. She is to do this from Friday to Sunday. On Monday, she needs to take the candle out of the bowl and give the remaining candy that is left over to the neighborhood children. Finally, she lights the candle and lets it burn till it is completed.

I hope this helps, and let me know how it all turns out!

Kisses and Such,
Luxurious Mr. L

Saturday, April 19, 2008


I am waiting on baited breath for your questions, nothing is too taboo for me!

Kisses and Much, Much, More
Luxurious Mr. L